2017 has been a great year. And I say a “great year” not because everything was positive, in fact, there were quite a bit learning moments. The moments that you have to go low in order to go high, points. Smell what I’m stepping in? ;)
It is in those low or tough moments that we find ourselves wishing to move through them as fast as we can. I remember telling a friend of mine earlier this year, “I feel like I’m trapped in a room. Everytime I open the door thinking it is a way out, it simply leads to another damn room. LIke, what the heck! I’m ready, I’ve learned my lesson. Can I. just. Get. out.” When in reality in order for me to move through and learn what I needed to, I needed to surrender and trust.
Anyone else experience this feeling?
I find that in those types of moments is when we learn and grow the most.
But there were definitely some major highlights to 2017 that happened like...getting married to my husband, Mike. Probably the BEST thing that happened. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner in crime. The kid is legit the happiest person I know, rarely (and I mean rarely) in a bad mood, he is also an entrepreneur (errr, well was technically. After 8 years of running his own digital agency with his partner they got acquired earlier this month. He’s suuuuppper excited.) I hosted my first in-person event, She Did It Her Way Summit. Attendees traveled from all across the country and my favorite part was that I got to meet some of the listeners! It was amazing! Mike and I also moved into a 1BR with a den so now I have my own workspace. Lastly, I attended a money mindset boot camp that really helped me uncover a lot of beliefs and blocks from stopping me performing at the level I desire.
Here is what I am leaving in 2017:
1. The act of not putting me (or my business first)
I truly believe that in order to be a good business owner, friend, spouse, mother, sister, you name it, we have to put ourselves first in order to show up 100% with those that we then choose to be around. We cannot serve the world with our gifts if we do not serve ourselves first.
2. Underlying Belief I’m Not Good Enough // Not loving myself
Woof. Where do I even begin? To give you some content I had always thought I “loved myself.” When people would talk about “Do you love yourself?” My answer always was “Yes, of course.” But I’ve learned (for me at least) that in order to love myself I have to believe I am enough. Truly believe I am enough. Peeling back the layers sent me on a journey of even deeper self-discovery. Why did I believe I wasn’t enough? My act of projecting emotions onto others demonstrated that I a) didn’t fully love myself and b) proved that I didn’t believe I was enough. There is so much rooted in our subconscious, programming that has been impressed on our mind since we were children. This is something I still actively work on every day.
3. Apologizing when I don’t need to
Okay, first let me say, a good apology for the right reason goes a long way especially when one is warranted. I’m talking about over apologizing or apologizing in the first place when it doesn’t need to even be a thing.
A friend of mine once left me a message via Voxer and apologized because she was taking time for herself, creating space for herself and hadn’t been active for over a week so she apologized for being distant and right after she said that in my mind I was like “GUUURRRRLLL, what are you apologizing for? You do you.” Then, right after I thought in her voice message that she retracted her words and said, “Wait, why am I apologizing. Haha. Okay, I’m not sorry….”
I used to overly apologize when I felt like I had disappointed someone or let them down when ultimately I was saying NO to something they had offered because I needed to protect my energy and space and that is something we should never need to apologize for.
The next point leads into why I would apologize so much.
4. Fear of disappointing or letting other people down
I realized that my need to be a people pleaser was really driven by the fear of disappointing people. I would make commitments that I truly never intended to keep, said yes to events because I felt like I should but ultimately overcrowded my scheduled and it made me feel overwhelmed. Which trust me, no one wants to be around me when I’m overwhelmed and stressed out.
I’ve learned that more clear you are with where you want to go, what you want to do, saying NO to opportunities become easier because you realize the benefit of missing out.
By putting ourselves first we can rest in knowing that we have clarity, FOMO is no longer the driving factor to our decisions, we move from a place of self-love and the disappointing and apologizing no longer dictate our decisions.
What are things you're leaving behind in 2017?